MOON LANDING, 1969

All the little people
Who lived on the Moon
Went into hiding,
Not a bit too soon.

Nixon promised cars and cokes
And Nixon promised strings,
But they were worse than Communists
And didn’t want such things.

So, in case the President
Got it in his head
To bomb the little Moonies
If he thought that they were red,

All the little people
Who lived on the Moon
Went into hiding,
Not a bit too soon.

They tore up all their houses
And they spread some dust around,
And dug up all the trees they had
And took them underground.

When Nixon saw the mess they’d left,
The craters, rocks and sand,
He said on TV coast to coast
“We’ve reached the Promised Land.”

“Since the week of the Creation”
(As Old Glory was unfurled)
“This week is the greatest
“In the history of the world.”

“Americans” he said, “Revere
“The steps that we have trod;
“This here’s the new Paradise;
“And this time, guess who’s God.”

But what with bombing Communists
And wasting oil and men,
America’s resources
Were back to scratch again.

They cut back on expansion
And left alone the Moon,
And all the little people said
“Not a bit too soon!”

They put back all their houses
And replanted all their trees,
And as they passed a pipe around
They said to God, “O please –

“We know those people are a mess,
“And bound for trouble soon,
“But with a little less, they’d be
“As happy as the Moon.”

Published: Ryerson Free Press, Canada, April 2008